Santino Marella is the saviour of the WWE! Every time he comes on you can be sure to be entertained! There’s no one around with the charisma he’s got. He’s an absolute genius with a microphone. No one else in the WWE now or in the past is as entertaining as Santino! Even his body language is entertaining!
Since he changed his gimmick from face to heel his career has sky rocketed! In only a few months he’s gone from nowhere to cutting some of the funniest and most memorable promos with some of the biggest names in wrestling.
Considering the fact he hasn’t taken part in a serious wrestling match in ages he still always gets a reaction from the crowd. He’s a natural entertainer!
I’ve put together a list of some of his funny quotes and gathered some funny videos of him up too. I hope you enjoy this page 
Santino Marella quotes mocking Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Condemmed:
“Cold Stone Steve Austin”
“I’ll open a can of the ass whip and spray it over your big fat head”
“I’ll beat you like a rented mule, or a mule for purchase, bottom lines is, if there’s livestock involved I’ll beat you like it”
“Those are the real bottom lines, because Santino Marella say it be so”
“There as much chance of that as Stone Cold winning an Oscar”
“In case Stone Cold does turn up, I brought this, a paper bag, so he can try and act his way out of it”
“Stone Cold, the fact of the matter is, when it comes to your acting, we are all the Condemmed”
To the Condemmed director Scott Viper “Did you at any point ever wish that the prop guns were real, so you could blow your own brains out”
“Thankfully the in-flight movie wasn’t the Condemmed. There’s isn’t enough vomit bags in North America to …..”
“Hey, what’s wrong with you all tonight? Oh I know what it is, you all just finished watching the Condemmed”
“It’s ninety minutes of my life i can not get back”
Videos
Santino says Stone Cold won’t turn up, but if he does …
Santinos version of Rehab by Amy Winehouse
Santino impersonates Stone Cold Steve Austin
Stone Cold Steve Austin Confronts Santino Marella on Raw (1/2)
Stone Cold Steve Austin confronts Santino Marella on Raw (2/2)
Santino Marella quotes on Maria, Divas and Playboy
“Nobody wants to see Maria with no clothes on”
“I don’t want to buy a subscription to Playboy magazine. Why buy the cow when someone will let you milk them for free”
“If your going to expose yourself to men all over the universe, then I’m going to pose for Playgirl and expose myself to women all over the planet”
“It’s the Playboy curse, think about it Maria. Cadice Michelle injured, Torrie Wilson injured, Ashley, well, she’s not injured but those things in her lip make her look ugly”
After putting his own face over Maria’s face and boobs on her Playboy cover ” Now when anyone tries to think of my Maria on the cover of Playboy they will have an erectile malfunction”
“Is it your timing of the month Maria? It must be, because your acting crazy”
After Maria’s trousers get pulled down on HD television “Dam-a you Japanese for your high definition technology”
“WWE Divas should not be competing, they should be at home looking pretty, making pasta, making babies..”
To Ashley “Maria’s not interested in you or your boobie magazine”
To Ashley again “I wish i could vote you out of the WWE just like they did on survivor”
“Look at them Maria, they are all fantasizing about you right now, even J.R. is erecting a monument in his trousers, it’s a small monument, but a monument none the less”
To Maria “Did you get your shot for rabies after kissing snoopy the dog…. Did he take you out for dinner, kibbles and the bits”
Videos
Santino, Maria & Ashley at the 2008 Royal Rumble
Santino after Maria’s trousers get pulled down on Raw
Santino saying he’ll pose for Playgirl magazine
Santino Marella Vs Maria no holds barred match
Maria unveils her Playboy cover
Santino Marella quotes about other WWE stars
To J.R “I’m going to beat your friend like a goverment dog”
To J.R “You like knobberslockers”
To J.R “The last time i saw that stupid crooked smile on your face i got-a so mad, then i realised that stupid crooked smile is there all the time”
To Chris Jericho “Listen, KYJ”
“Look at me I’m Jerry stupid Lawler”
“I’m Jerry Lawler, I make fun of women because i have no self esteem”
“I’m Jerry Lawler, I like Puppies, I like big puppies, little puppies, clean puppies and dirrrty puppies”
After stealing Jerry Lawlers sandwich “Ha, look Jerry, i have your delicious sandwich”
To Hardcore Holly & Cody Rhodes “Maybe you can pose in balding tough guy who has a little friend with a girls name magazine”
To Sandman “I make love to the beautiful Maria, you make love to your stick”
“Carlito likes to swap spit with men who don’t want to be cool”
