Royal Rumble - Madison Square Garden - 27-01-08

I’m looking forward to this. I hope it lives up to my expectations or I won’t be happy at all!

The first thing that strikes me is that the wrestlers don’t have far to walk to the ring. The short walk way makes the place look very cramped! That’s got nothing to do with anything but thought I’d mention it anyway!

First Match: M.V.P Vs Ric Flair (career threatening match)

Ric Flair comes to the ring and pays himself a small tribute (and why not, he’s been around for long enough to do things like that) but M.V.Ps music starts and interrupts him.

M.V.P gets a 3 count but the referee reverses the decision after he sees that Flairs foot on the rope.

Ric Flair makes M.V.P tap out with the figure 4 leg lock.

VERDICT: 1/5 I was pretty disappointed with this match. I don’t know why i was expecting more really! I like Ric Flair but it’s about time he did retire! He might be fit for his age but he can’t compete convincingly with the younger generation any more. Specially with the likes of M.V.P.

Second match: Chris Jericho Vs J.B.L

J. B. L wins by disqualification when Jericho hits him with a chair.

VERDICT: 0/5 This was about as thrilling as phoning for an appointment to see the doctor! Why wasn’t this match better!! J.B.L is one of the best heels in the business and Chris Jericho pretty thrilling himself when he gets going but this match was just a boring fight.

Jericho was bleeding pretty badly and after the match he wrapped a camera cable round J.B.Ls neck and choked the dickens out of him. Rubbish match!

Third match: Edge Vs Rey Mysterio

Edge has Hawkins & Ryder and Vicky Guerrero (wheel chair and all) in his corner

Edge wins by spearing Rey Mysterio while he’s jumping from the top rope at him.

VERDICT: 4/5 This is what i call a match! It was thrills and spills all the way through! Lots of action, lots of back and fourth, lots of pins, fantastic!

Hawkins & Ryder got sent back to the dressing room early on in the match.

Vicky Guerrero got out of her wheel chair towards the end and pulled the referees leg while he was counting Edges shoulders down. She also got involved by covering Edges head when Rey was going for the 619 and so Mysterio hit Vicky with it instead of Edge. Good!

The only complaint i have is that Rey Mysterios injured knee became part of the match because Edge kept hammering on it. I don’t like it when they keep bringing up old injuries like this! If he wasn’t fit to wrestle he wouldn’t be wrestling so they shouldn’t keep making an issue of it!

It was quite interesting the the crowd seemed to be mostly behind Edge.

Backstage: Ric Flair arrives in his dressing room where Mr. Kennedy is standing there clapping Ric Flair and he says that after he wins the Royal Rumble he’ll have some time before Wrestlmania so ….. He’s then interupted by Shawn Michaels who comes in so Kennedy leaves. It gets very boring very quickly now as Shawn congratulates Ric, then Batista comes in then Triple H comes in. “may the best man win” says Triple H to Batista, “yeah” says Batista.

Load of boring shit! It would have been good if it was just Kennedy and Flair but ohhhhh noooooooo!!

Maria comes to the ring and says something ( I couldn’t understand what it was!) then says “welcome to the first ever Royal Rumble kiss cam” The camera shows couples in the audience and they kiss! What the fuck is this about!! (One guy refused to kiss his girlfriend on camera hahahahaha! :))

Ashley comes to the ring (maybe she’s going to kiss Maria?) Nope! She asks Maria if she’ll pose for playboy. Just when I’m about to fast forward past this rubbish Santino Marrela comes out comes out with a someone under a sheet with him.

He says “The answer is no! Nobody wants to see Maria with no clothes on!” Then he winds up the crowd about how pathetic the New York football teams are and says ” The Giants are more like hairdressers than athletes” The crowd respond by cheering (very loudly!) “LET’S GO GIANTS!”

God damn it! I’m going to use up half the space on the Internet quoting Santino here! He’s just too damn funny!

“Don’t listen to these people Maria, they are like sheep! If you ask them who wants hepatitis they will cheer!”

“I have a Royal Rumble match to prepare for, which I’m going to win because i am a winner (pronounced weaner)”

Then he says “if you people want boobies, here you go!” He takes the person covered in the sheet in the ring and takes away the sheet to reveal that fat dancing guy (i forget his name) and he starts dancing in the ring. Ashley then starts hitting him with rubber chickens! I don’t know where they came from either! Nice Ashley cleavage shots here!

This was surprisingly very entertaining!

VERDICT: I love Santino Marreal!

Forth match: Jeff Hardy Vs Randy Orton

Randy Orton wins after hitting the RKO

VERDICT: 4/5 This is a good a match as you can get! Everything about it was right. The only bad thing about it was it didn’t go on for long enough and the ending came so quickly it was almost unbeliveable!

All action from the very start to the very end! This is what WWE should be like!

ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH:

An over dramatic introduction to the main match is going on! Hurry up for fucks sake!!!

Ok, here we go….

NUMBER 1: The Undertaker

NUMBER 2: Shawn Michaels

Shit! It couldn’t get of to a better start!! I’m excited whoo hooo!

Both guys fight it out and both end up on the ring apron. Nothing spectacular happens though.

NUMBER 3: Santino Marrela YAY!!

Marrela gets super kicked by HBK straight away and then The Undertaker throws him out! Haha Michaels and The undertaker then get it on again.

Taker goes for old school but HBK knocks him from the ropes.

NUMBER 4: The Great Khali

Crowd chant “you can’t wrestle!” at Khali. The Undertaker and Khali start fighting and the Undertaker throws Khali over the rope and out! Wow!

NUMBER 5: Hard Core Holly

NUMBER 6: John Morrison

NUMBER 7: Tommy Dreamer

ECW chants start. Serious “Tommy Dreamer” chants!

NUMBER 8: Batista

Batista throws Tommy Dreamer over and out.

NUMBER 9:Hornswoggle

Everyone in the ring stops and looks at Hornswoggle in disbelieve and he goes under the ring.

NUMBER 10: Chuck Palumbo

NUMBER 11: Jamie Noble

Nobles ribs are taped and he goes straight for Palumbo. Palumbo eliminates Jamie Noble. Booo!

NUMBER 12: CM PUNK

CM Punk eliminates Chuck Palumbo.

NUMBER 13: Cody Rhodes

NUMBER 14: Umaga

Umaga eliminates Hard Core Holly.

NUMBER 15: Snitsky

Cody Rhodes nearly eliminates himself and Snitsky.

NUMBER 16: The Miz

NUMBER 17: Shelton Benjamin

Shawn Michaels super kicks Shelton Benjamin over the rope and out.

NUMBER 18: Superfly Jimmy Snuka! What the fuck!!!

It really is him!! He looks terrible!

NUMBER 19: Rowdy Roddy Piper! YAAAAAAY!!! My all time favorite!!!

Crowd chants “Roddy” Whoooooo!!!!

Piper and Snuka go at it.

NUMBER 20: Kane

Kane eliminates Superfly and Roddy Piper at the same time. Booooo!

NUMBER 21: Carlito

NUMBER 22: Mick Foley

Crowd chants “Foley”

NUMBER 23: Mr. Kennedy

There’s loads of people in the ring!

The Undertaker comes to life and kicks every-ones ass!

The Undertaker eliminates Snitsky.

Shawn Michaels eliminates The Undertaker.

Mr. Kennedy eliminates Shawn Michaels.

Fuckin hell!!!

NUMBER 24: Big Daddy V

Taker and Snitsky fight outside the ring. The undertaker puts legdrops Snitsky on the announce table. I think! couldn’t see that but that’s what J.R. says happened. So if it’s wrong blame him!

NUMBER 25: Mark Henry

Hornswoggle reappears from under the ring while The Miz is stopping himself being thrown out by one hand. Hornswoggle pulls Mizs hand and out goes Miz. Hornswoggle dissapears under the ring again.

Big Daddy V nearly puts his hand up John Morrisons ass while trying to put him over the rope!

NUMBER 26: Chavo Guerrero

Kane eliminates John Morrison.

Hornswoggle reappears and grabs Mark Henrys hand to try and pull him out but Mark Henry pulls Hornswoggle in the ring over the top rope instead. Oooppss!

Mark Henry and Big Daddy V grab Poor Hornswoggle! I don’t like this. I feel sorry for him between these to giants! Finlay comes running to the ring with his stick and starts clobbering V and Henry. Finlay rolls out under the bottom rope and him and Hornswoggle go back to the dressing room!? I’m confused!

Finlay has been disqualified for coming out before his time and using the stick. What about Hornswoggle?

Ohh, no time to worry about that now 3 .. 2 .. 1

NUMBER 27: Elijah Burke

Chavo eliminates CM Punk.

Batista is out side the ring but he went under the bottom rope after a Samoan spike from Umaga.

NUMBER 28: Triple H

Triple H eliminates Cody Rhodes.

Triple H eliminates Big Daddy V.

Triple H eliminates both Elijah Burke and Mick Foley at the same time.

Triple H Pedigrees Umaga

NUMBER 30: John Cena. Wow! Didn’t even know he was in it!

The crowd goes nuts at John Cenas arrival!

John Cena eliminates Carlito

John Cena eliminates Chavo Guerrero

John Cena eliminates Mark Henry

Triple H and John Cena face off nose to nose in the middle of the ring and go at it.

Batista eliminates Mr. Kennedy

Batista eliminates Umaga

Triple H and Batista eliminate Kane

Only Triple H, Batista and John Cena are left. This has suddenly got very boring!!!!! For fucks sake can someone else not get a chance for a change!!!

The 3 of them start posing at each other before going at it.

Triple H eliminates Batista. YES!! If that dick won I’d never watch WWE again!

Cena and Triple H after some walking around and pointing at the Wrestlemania sign go at it full force!

The crowd are going nuts! They’re right in to this!

John Cena eliminates Triple H

JOHN CENA WINS THE ROYAL RUMBLE!

VERDICT: 4/5 Entertaining through out. Quite a few surprises and great to see Roddy Piper and Jimmy Snuka coming out! Surprised to see John Cena too.

God damn it though the fact that the same usual suspects were the last ones in the ring sickened me! Triple H and John Cena have been the WWE champion millions of times and headlined enough Wrestlemanias in their careers and Batista is a boring bastard who doesn’t deserve to be a main eventer!

OVERALL VERDICT: 4/5 This years Royal Rumble was well worth the money i think!. I’m disappointed though that Jeff Hardy didn’t win and that John Cena did!

Why can’t the WWE give someone else a push for a change!!